LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

By JOANI J. STEWART

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LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

By JOANI J. STEWART

Book Preview

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I am proud to announce the publication of my newest book of photographs. Soon to be announced will be the BOOK BITCHELLATI - but until then, make yourself feel good with a book of beautiful images. Click on the link and see for yourself.

Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History

ANY SIGN WILL DO

Don't you just wonder about the universe sometimes? I was on my way to get acupuncture for my ailing hands when I see this banner on the street that tells me I am ok.  Sometimes the answers we need are right in front of our face, you just need to open your eyes. You don't always get what you want, but you always get what you need. 

License plate on the car in front of mine yesterday -- EGBOK  (everything's going to be OK) 

Any sign will do!!

HANDS ON!

Do you ever think about how much you do with your hands?  Like type?  Write?  Turn pages? Eat?  Drive? Carry things? Hold?  Touch?  Feel?

What if you  couldn't use your hands anymore? Couldn't hold a pen or a tennis racket? Couldn't keep your hands on the steering wheel? 

I am in pain all the time. My joints (not the ones you smoke) are swollen and sore. My hands are puffy and stiff.  I run them under hot water in the morning just to soothe them temporarily. I take Advil, Bayer and am turning to acupuncture. (puncture is the operative part of that word)

So I looked up in my Louise Hay book, "You Can Heal Your Life", and what she has to say about hands and joints took my breath away, because it is true . . . and the truth always hurts . . .  

"Hands - Hold and handle, touch and grip, Grasping and letting go, caressing and pinching, all are ways of dealing with (handling) experiences." The affirmation being: I choose to handle all my experiences with love and with joy and with ease"

Joints - (it gets better!! . . . ) "Represents changes in direction in life and the ease of these movements." Affirmation: I easily flow with change. My life is divinely guided, and I am always going in the best direction."

Well, that certainly struck me - since my life has changed dramatically in the last few months, from having no work and running my own business to taking a full-time job for somebody else; from working alone in my own office to working with other people whose energy is sapping my own. 

I am stress filled, fear based, insecure and competitive. I am not handling the changes in direction with much bliss or trust in the universe. So the pain in my hands represents so much to me that I must change, it is really quite amazing. Quite the revelation. Maybe I should  stop gripping the wheel (stop griping too!) and start driving the car. . . 

 I can heal myself. I just have to remember to be happy and grateful and know that I am blessed and that I am exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing and the best thing I can do for myself is to LET GO    LET GOD and not hold on to it all. I am giving it to you, you carry it for me . . . 

TALK ABOUT MISGUIDED ENERGY POLICY

Recently had elective (what I thought was going to be minor) surgery. Turned out to be a lot worse then anticipated. Couldn't get past the notion that I had really made a mistake, i.e., if I had known that it was going to be such an ordeal I wouldn't have done it. Man, was I suffering. A couple of days ago a friend more or less told me to get over the mistake idea; that what was done was done and I couldn't undo it. Surprisingly enough I was able to stop putting my energy into my questionable choice since there really was no longer a choice available and started focusing on getting better. In the last 2 days I've started to feel like my old self again. Thanks friend. I know this is not really a bitch, but seems to me that misdirection of energy may very well be at the root of a whole lot of bitches. We'll see.

good day

today was a good day. Hiking, lunch out, a jacuzzi, then my son calls and has to take his pregnant wife to the hospital to get hydriated, she can't keep anything down and she needs fluids. I just want to put her in the light that her liquid problem is resolved and life can continue on a happy path. This is my first time blogging on someones sight.
Redrocket

Aint' life Grand?

I had a serious melt down yesterday and my girlfriend got a front row seat to it.  

I've been working almost 10 days straight...as a bitch to idiot people and taking their shit has become my life.  I do all this for the trade off of following my dream.  But things have just gotten out of hand. I know I've lived a pretty charmed life and I can't really complain in the big sense of things but when you get over 30 and you have few skills to draw on for employment, you find yourself sucking people's you know what and at certain points it can really take everything out of you.  I went to work yesterday as a favor to my boss and work place.  They needed a host at the restaurant where I bartend.  I filled in cause I'm a team player and I'm still trying to make people like me there and I dressed up all corporate and cheesy and I stood around like a dope and greeted people and took them to their seats.  No big deal right?  

Well that what I thought till I pulled the manger aside for a brief moment and asked him about those new open shifts that we're coming up since a main bartender was leaving soon.  Thats when the avalanche came.  I am suddenly being given the mother-load of shit from a fat ugly asshole of a man who wants me to know in no uncertain terms that I suck at my job from the perspective of everyone who works with me and that I have been so close to being fired numerous times but nobody had the balls to tell (He's the nice one for telling me, get it?). He's instead gonna give all the free shifts to a new girl who hasn't even finished training. So he's getting all self help on me about how I can take this the good way or the bad way and all the while I was breaking inside.  I was floored because I bust my ass at this disorganized shit hole and I can't keep up with the ridiculously difficult system they have in place.  Yeah sorry I'm not an octopus and I can't get everyones fucking drink at once and do whatever else they expect from me in that same moment.  So what if I am just not god gift to bartending.  I show up on time, I bust my ass, I am honest and I look good while doing it.  Give me a break.  I'm doing my very best (honestly).

So after a full 10 days of taking people's crap as dead end jobs and after hearing this negative spew-fest, I walked out of the bar, got into my car that my girlfriend had brought to pick me up and I proceeded to go bonkers: Kicking, screaming and tearing my shirt to shreds.  I fuckin lost it.  I mean I went ballistic.  I'm saying I went off the deep end, and I am still not back on land.  I cried, fought with my girl...went to my other job that night (a private party), drank 10 margaritas and then slept on it.  

I went back into the bar this morning and told that fat fuck exactly what I wanted to tell him.  No sugar coating.  No SNL where the girl thinks about what she wishes she could tell her boss.  No I decided that I was willing to lose my job and then I just told the asshole my truths.    

Did it make me feel better? In a way.  He took it better then I expected and I could sort of hear his point in some matters. It calmed me down a few degrees.   But now the anger still sits in me, making me continue to feel like crap... because I just can' t do this anymore. I can't play this game.  The price is getting too steep.   I have to get out of dead end jobs.. shit has gotta change.  And I won't rest (well) till it does. 

Ain't life grand?